Iron Sharpeners

Of all the roles I've played, being a mother is definitely by far the most challenging.  It is a demanding, often grueling 24 hours a day, 7 days a week job.  My kids love throwing me into situations where I have to act quickly and think even more quickly.  These beautiful little beings who have been entrusted to me by the Most High are thoroughly equipped with strength, wit, strategery (think SNL), persistence and the list goes on and on. 

But man, am I grateful for being placed in this role.  Because these little beings maybe demanding and challenging, but they are also some of the best disciples I've had in my life.  Daily they teach me self-control, how to respond in peace and kindness, and how to choose joy even when said little beings are not making the same choice.  In them, I get a glimpse into the Father's heart as they pursue me, their momma, with their hearts and their love. 

I thought of Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."  I'm so blessed to have a number of people who sharpen me, but when I think about the ones who have the most influence, the ones who make me want to look more like Jesus, it is SE and Fin.  I want them to grow up knowing that regardless of their status or the situation they have proposed to me, they matter, they have value, and they are owed respect and honor.  I want them to see the love of Jesus in me and feel His pursuit of them through my pursuit of them.  I want to plant seeds of His Kingdom values, not seeds of the world. 

As I think about being celebrated on Mother's Day, I kind of laugh to myself because yes, being a mom is an amazing role, one that I can't even begin to express gratitude for and never want to take for granted.  But to me, it's as much about my kids as it is about being a mother.  Without them, I don't get the title "mom".  Without them, I miss out on so much of what God has for me.  Without them, I miss out on so many experiences.  And let's face it, who doesn't want to experience their 2-year-old hockey checking another toddler in the middle of a youth basketball practice and trying to respond with the heart of the God. 

Being a mom...it's kind of the best thing ever...

New beginnings

I'm not really sure how to begin this post...it's a new year, a new season, and while I've never been one to really shy away from change, a big change happened today.  After a Christmas full of joy and gratefulness and a new year ushered in with friends and adventures, we had to say good-bye to some of our dearest friends.  And while I am so excited to see the Lord reward and bless their faithful hearts, I am also so very sad to see them go.

To say they are great friends is an understatement.  We've done life so very closely with them for over two and half years seeing them usually more than once a week unless someone was out of town.  We've celebrated the births of babies, A WEDDING, birthdays, and holidays.

We've gone on vacations and double dates and retreats together.  We've just been ourselves and hung out many a nights together doing absolutely nothing (or having Nertz battles!).

We have shared much laughter and tears and celebrations, but mostly, there has been a realness to our relationship for which I am so very grateful.

To say they've loved us and loved our kids well doesn't even come close to the joy they've brought to me, Sean, Sean Edward and Finley.  All of us are forever changed because of the love they have poured into us.

To say we love them wouldn't even begin to fully describe how we feel about them.  It's been an honor to do life beside them.  Chicago is one lucky city because it is getting some of the BEST people I know.  And I know as amazing as they were here, they are going to be even more amazing there.  Because what the Lord ordains is so much greater than we can ever imagine.

And thankfully, new beginnings are God breathed that have the assurance of His presence and Him.  So friends we send you off with the power of the Holy Spirit going before you and covering you along the way.  Only greatness awaits you in Chicago...new adventures, new relationships, new things.  And we'll be here living it with you although in a different way, but still laughing, crying and celebrating because:

"The faithful love of the Lord never ends; His mercies never cease.  Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning."  Lamentations 3:22-23

All about him

Today is a pretty big day in our house.  You would think it is Christmas, and I guess you could say, that four years ago, it was like Christmas to Sean and I.  Today we have a FOUR year old.  And today is all about him!

He's so ready to grow up...to be a big boy.  And in many ways he is, but what I remember is the first time I got to kiss his sweet little face.

Not the best picture of me, but to my defense, I had just been knocked out and cut open.  Sorry to be graphic, but it happens.

He wants to be 7 years old, like our neighbor and play with the big boys taking the risk of getting tackled a little too roughly, but what I remember is when at 5 weeks old he was admitted to the hospital with RSV.

He wants to race everyone, everywhere and win.  He likes to run and run and never seems to get tired...even when our babysitter makes him run around a tree 10 times before his nap.  What I remember are the precious first steps he took on his first birthday.

He has a little prophetic gifting (or maybe lucky guesses) that usually comes in the way of saying what team will win in the OU games (so far, he has picked K-State and Notre Dame accurately), but what I remember is him saying Finley was a girl and that he was going to have a baby sister long before we really knew.

He loves adventure and has a spirit of going and doing (much like his daddy).  He loves to be in the middle of any excitement and  often times is the one causing it.  And my heart is touched because I think about the excitement and adventure he creates every day for our family.

I think about his creative and silly spirit that I know the Lord delights in even if in some moments the silliness is a little too much for me to handle, and I have to say "that's enough".  And my mind immediately remembers...

And one of the quickest ways for my eyes to well up with tears is to think about his amazing heart that is full of love for his family, his friends and for God's people.  A pastor's heart is already showing itself to be one of SE's spiritual gifts.  He can remember details of people's hearts that sometimes I forget.  I see him loving people so well.

So today, the obedience and rules went out the window.  He got to do pretty much whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted (that included McDonald's for lunch).  I had a friend joke the other day about one year "forgetting" Sean Edward's birthday to see how he would respond.  I said no way, couldn't do it.  He only gets one day a year where everything is all about him!

Trusting in Him

Earlier in the summer I felt the Lord saying He was going to call me into a season of learning to trust Him in greater measure.  My first response was "God, I feel like I have this trust thing down.  I trust You; of course, I do!".  Only since then, He has done what He has said He's going to do...He has continued to offer situations and circumstances where I can either say "Yes, Lord, I am going to trust you with this" or try to handle it on my own.  One of the things I continually offer up to Him are my kids...to trust Him that He is developing them into mighty warriors for His Kingdom and that He is giving me the wisdom and love I need to raise them.

SE started preschool in August.  Three days a week, we drop him off and watch him confidently walk into his classroom without a glance back at me.  Fin fondly calls after him, "bubba, bubba".  She took his first day harder than I did, crying for her SE from the moment we dropped him off to pretty much the moment we got to pick him up.

I'm thankful he goes to school with such good buddies.  And he's making so many new ones.  One of my heart's desires for him is to be the kid who will seek out the kiddos who are playing alone and invite them into friendship.  Some of the sweet stories he brings home from school tell my heart that is the path he following.

And then there is this little one...she's a powerhouse, that is for sure.  Vivacious, persistent, sweet, fiery, opinionated, and absolutely beautiful.  She has stolen my heart and her daddy's.  Sean and I race to her crib after she's gone to sleep, get her out, put her in bed with us and cuddle her. 

My goal everyday with them is that they would feel loved and poured into...to speak into the places of their hearts that will respond in the knowledge they are loved, they are secured.

When I first heard the Lord speaking about trusting Him in greater measure, I immediately thought of the brother and/or sister Sean and I have been desiring for SE and Fin.  We've been waiting to be pregnant for almost a year now.  As I've been praying for our new little one, the Lord has revealed some sweet things over my kiddos and kiddos to come.  Last week, He spoke over Sean Edward that he was our promise of faithfulness.  When we were trying for SE, we just knew we would be pregnant with him, and after 9 months, we were.

Finley is our promise of hope.  He gave her to us after a sad miscarriage that took me to a place of wondering whether we would ever have another.  Somewhat of a surprise, she came at the perfect time fulfilling the promise of God's hope.

And now we wait for Him to fulfill His promise of trustworthiness (the promise He's spoken over our next little ones).  My trust is in Him because with God, a promise made is a promise kept.