On a snowy weekend in February

I received a text from Sean on a Wednesday that said, "I need you to keep an open mind and call me to talk about something."  I was at a breakfast for a friend when I read it and laughed out loud.  Another friend who heard me asked about it so I read her the text.  She asked what I thought it meant so I gave her my interpretation.  I said, "It probably means {Sean speaking} hey, Stacie, I have this awesome opportunity to go on this awesome trip to somewhere fabulous, and the trip is free, but you (Stacie) can't go with me, and I'll be gone for 3-4 days so you get to keep the kids all by yourself."

After the breakfast, I called Sean who was keeping #3 and #4 babes so I could go solo, and guess what the text was about...Sean was invited to go to a golf tournament for 4 days in none other than Palm Springs, California, and he would leave the next day.  I could only laugh.  And I could only laugh harder when I saw the forecast for the weekend because while he was sunning it up on the golf course in lovely California, I was to be stuck at home for the last weekend of February when it was to snow inches in Oklahoma.  So I psyched myself up for a weekend of me and the babes stuck inside with the beautiful snow falling outside!

Sean and Fin wouldn't stay unseen and unheard during Friday's rest time so their consequence was "shoveling" the snow from the driveway.  Fin's response, "Mom, I love shoveling snow.  It's fun!"  Everything with a smile, that Finley.

The next morning, I tried to fill our time with fun activities since the last basketball game and the first soccer game had been canceled.  A breakfast of cupcakes because Dad's gone and no isn't really something that is heard when Dad is gone. Then to the windows to watch the snow and a little jaunt outside to get some obligatory snow pics!

SE and Fin both wanted to be doctors so we had some doctor visits complete with tongue depressor gagging (from me as SE stuck the tongue depressor down my throat) and band aids for boo-boos.

Fin wanted to paint nails so I bravely said "yes" to her painting mine (see aforementioned explanation of why "no" isn't used when dad is gone).  The painting came complete with a sparkle top coat.  Yeah that took weeks to scrape off.

Elin was ready for swim season.  Me too sister.  The snow was getting a little ridiculous even though I love me a good snow day.

SE took to running races all over the house complete with sweatband because I had the heat set at 70 degrees.  If we were going to be stuck inside I was at least going to be on the verge of sweating whilst stuck indoors.

I'm happy to say we survived Sean being gone that snowy weekend, and I really got to spend some good quality one on one time with each kiddo, which is something that can be difficult to do when Sean is home.  We all kept our sanity and managed to love each other well throughout the entire weekend.  It was definitely a victory in the mom category for sure, and we were all very happy to see the daddy when he got home!

The mountains were calling...

And so we took #1 and #4 kids to answer them. Both Fin and SE wanted to go skiing, but we decided for ease and so no one got left out, we would take SE and Elin, since she is basically an appendage of mine, which I love.  The thought of not being able to nurse another baby was really sad to me so with Elin, I've protected and fought for nursing her without any long breaks as I did when Fin decided to unexpectedly stop nursing.

We loaded up and headed to New Mexico instead of our usual Colorado.  I had to adjust to going somewhere other than the place I've so grown to love.  But New Mexico, specifically Angelfire, was delightful.  It is super family friendly and has a great beginner mountain for kids.

We were pumped that some of our dearest friends got to come with us.  Day one was ski school for the boys.  They were really excited to go!

I stayed with this little cutie all day...

And the other guys did this...

We took kids sledding...

And then more of this!

My little appendage came too!

As fun and relaxing as it was, we were all ready to get home to our other two precious faces. 

So until the mountains call again...

Releasing Control

Let's be honest, we all like control some more than others.  I am a person who enjoys more control than most people.  I wouldn't say I'm a control freak unless you count all the times in high school and college when I was usually the club or group leader because that meant I got to set the tone of said club or do the things correctly that other group members didn't.  Back then I would have just said that I liked balance or I didn't mind doing what other people disliked.  As I look back, and as my husband sweetly reminds me, I realize more and more, I like control. 

When I thought about having kids, my ideal situation would have been two boys and two girls because as previously mentioned, I like balance.  So after we had SE, I thought we were well on our way to my ideal situation.  When we found out we were having Fin, I was even more excited.  Then Fin was born, and while our family was balanced in the sense of there being two boys and two girls, there also became a tension.  Because Fin, bless her heart, likes her control too.  And with her control also came a certain decisiveness that is fairly unwaivering.  I look back to being pregnant with her and in the first days after she was born and her personality is so evident.  I joke that she would have stayed in my tummy forever.  She liked it there; she was content.  After she was born, she needed no instruction in how to nurse, but she didn't like the pre-cursor to milk.  She basically refused to eat until my milk came in.  She also didn't like bottles.  Sean and I went away for a night, and she didn't eat because she wouldn't take a bottle. 

As she's grown, we've had to navigate this side of her.  I've had to give (like when she asks if she can help bake with me) and so has she.  I call her my best refiner.  There's no quicker way for me to check myself then when she is having one of her decisive moments that doesn't go along with what I had in mind.  I'm so grateful the Lord placed her in our family.  I'm really not sure what I would do without her.  She causes me to be stretched, my self control to be kept in check, and to call out for grace upon grace upon grace.  I love her, can't get enough of her. 

She's messy,

and so beautiful,

 and loves really

 really

 really

 really

well.

"She is delighfully chaotic, a beautiful mess, loving her is a splendid adventure."

Photo courtesy of Fin herself

 

Four months

A lot has changed in the almost two year hiatus I took from blogging.  Namely that we increased by two kiddos!  Annabell's story is one for the record books and one I will tackle in what will probably be several posts, but since Elin what just born in October, I'll tackle hers first.

It's been almost a year since I found out I was pregnant with her...a year this week.  Some things had been off, and I actually thought I had early onset menopause.  Then another option crept into my mind.  But it had been two years since we had initially started trying for another baby.  Two years without getting pregnant so you can't blame me for thinking that wasn't it.  I decided that I could at least find out one of what I thought were the two possibilities so I randomly bought a pregnancy test and took it one night while Sean was working late and the kids had gone to bed.  When I first looked at the results, I didn't see a positive.  No big deal, I thought, I've taken more tests that have been negative than positive.  Then something caused me to look again.  And that's when I saw it...not one, but two pink lines.  I fell to my knees weeping very loudly.  It's amazing I didn't wake up any kids because of how loud I was.  I couldn't believe it, but yet I could at the same time.  Because isn't that like our God, to show off how amazing He is!  "I'll not only give you one child you've been desperately praying for (Annabell), I'll give you the other one you've been desperately praying for as well." 

Sean wasn't set on four kids.  After we had Annabell, I clearly remember him standing in the kitchen saying, "I feel good, Stacie.  Our family feels complete."  I chose then to tell him that while we were in the hospital with Annabell, I had heard the Lord mention four kids to me.  I was holding Annabell, crying and thanking Him for the promises He has made to us through our kids.  His promises of faith, hope and trust.  It was then He whispered, "and your fourth baby will be the promise of My extravagant love."  My breath caught as I thought, "Did I hear You correctly, Lord?  Did you just share that we will have a fourth?"  Indeed, He had.  And indeed, we did.

We decided not to find out if we were having a girl or boy.  So we waited 9 long months until October 7 when Elin Frances born made her debut.  Sweet little girl born in the midst of a lot of boys!  She was 7 pounds 7 ounces and 20 inches...totally a gift from the Lord. 

Elin means "light" and Frances means "free".  I thought her name was very fitting and accurate for her specifically regarding her promise of the Lord.  Light free, free light...the Lord is referenced over and over in the Bible as "light" and His love is free.  She being the promise of His extravagant love bears a name that is a constant reminder of how free His love is, how free the Light is.

Now four months later, it's as if our life has always consisted of a 6 year old, 4 year old, 18 month old and 4 month old.  We've started figuring out our new normal...chaos most of the time, but peace in the midst of it.  A lot of tears, usually from me, but a lot of smiles and laughter and praise and dancing! 

And as for how the rest of the clan is adjusting, they all think she is just as wonderful as her mommy and daddy do!

Elin Frances, we are overjoyed the Lord picked us for you and you for us!  You have brought a wonderful new dimension to our family and have marked this season as one of His extravagant love for all of us.  We are excited to see you grow and become a marked woman of the most high King!  You, sweet girl, are beautiful and delightful and loved and cherished by your heavenly Father and your family and friends!